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The Hardest News of my Life

The Hardest News of my Life
Photo by Emma Shappley / Unsplash

About a week ago I posted that I did not have cancer in my mouth... I was wrong.

I went to meet with the surgeon this morning and got the hardest news of my life that dealt with me personally. I learned that I have cancer in a tumor in my neck, cancer in my jawbone and cancer in my mouth.

I will have surgery in about 4 weeks. I don't know the exact date as it has not been set yet but it will take about 4 weeks to get everything done to have the surgery. So here is how the surgery will go.

  • 2 specialized Ear, Nose, and Throat Surgeons will do the surgery.
  • The surgery is one of the most complicated and will take at least 8 hours.
  • The surgeons will remove the tumor in my neck.
  • The surgeons will then remove a section of my jawbone and replace it with a bone they cut out of my leg.
  • The surgeons may have to cut out some of my tongue if the PET scan shows any cancer.
  • There will be three places that the surgeons will cut into my neck and fold the skin to reach the removal places.

Once the surgery is complete, I will be in ICU for 24-28 hours. If all is looking good they will move me to a regular patient's room where I will stay for 7-8 days.

The doctors will have a PET scan done and they will decide if I need to start radiation, chemotherapy or both. They should continue for 5 day per week for 4 weeks.

From there, I will simply have updates with the surgeon every 3, then 6 months leading to annual and every 5 years.

My Bible tells me "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me" (Psalms 23:4). That is what I believe. I believe that Jesus is with me and that evil cannot touch me.

But please hear me. I want to live. I want to pastor my church until I can't physically do that. But I do not believe that death is evil. It may be God's will to bring my life to any end and bring me home to Him. It may be His will for me to stay here and serve Him.

Romans 14:8-9 For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living.

Pray for me. But pray for the right thing. Pray for God's will to be done.